remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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