he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize