Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
