chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
