So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
