Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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