Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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