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Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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