Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
