i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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