Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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