i just made my gag reflex go away.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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