I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize