i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize