I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
