theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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