Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

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  (646): If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over. http://tfl.nu/pts9
  Replies (10) Good night (467) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?

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  (314): Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up? (573): I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up (314): Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days? http://tfl.nu/34og
  Replies (19) Good night (1178) Bad night (1726)
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  (707): View more from California

  last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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  (707): last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll. http://tfl.nu/u5mu
  Replies (34) Good night (5059) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.

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  (513): Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet. http://tfl.nu/slw0
  Replies (9) Good night (3331) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.

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  (815): No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real. http://tfl.nu/57ae
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (2206) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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  (570): Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/hfr5
  Replies (14) Good night (3508) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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  (705): You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden. http://tfl.nu/3tyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1804) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.

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  (973): Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested. http://tfl.nu/rwnz
  Replies (1) Good night (1819) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket

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  (618): We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket http://tfl.nu/a9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1795) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic

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  (660): People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic http://tfl.nu/zs06
  Replies (8) Good night (1132) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome

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  (443): let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome http://tfl.nu/i2ox
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life

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  (256): I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life http://tfl.nu/6fwv
  Replies (4) Good night (197) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.

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  (201): Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/pcyi
  Replies (8) Good night (370) Bad night (977)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (158) Bad night (105) Order T-Shirt

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