Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry