my room smells like sperm. sweet.
where am i from again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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