can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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