i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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