am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
