forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
