His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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