I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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