TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
