Do you still have your period?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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