I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
