so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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