You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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