I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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