I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish you could order shots online.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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