OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
