THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
