I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
