It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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