I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
love makes seman taste better
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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