Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
