Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
