I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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