I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am available for nakedness
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
