I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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