The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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