Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
