some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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