I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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