We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
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New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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