Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
