I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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