His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
