So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
