Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize