dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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