I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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