It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.