sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.