Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?