note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.