id be glad to
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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