I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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