Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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